How to Get Your Helper to Support Your Child's Therapy at Home
Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS
In many Singapore homes, the person who spends the most waking hours with a young child on a weekday is not a parent but a domestic helper. Grandparents often play a big part too. If your child is receiving therapy, you may wonder how much of it really sticks once the session ends. The answer often depends on whether everyone at home is working in the same direction. Here is how to bring your helper on board in a way that is practical and respectful.
Why Your Helper Matters So Much
Therapy sessions are a few hours a week. Your helper may be with your child for many hours a day: at meals, bath time, the playground and the bus stop. Those everyday moments are where new skills either get practised or quietly fade. As we explain in why consistency is the foundation of effective early intervention, children learn fastest when the same approach is used across people and places.
Invite Them Into Sessions
Where possible, ask your helper to join part of the session, even for 10 to 15 minutes. Watching the therapist in action is often more useful than any written instruction. They will see how prompts are given, how long to wait for a response and how praise is used. Encourage them to ask questions too. For home-based programmes like ours, this is one of the big advantages discussed in home-based vs centre-based ABA.
Agree on the Same Words and Strategies
Small differences can confuse a child. If you say "finish" and your helper says "done" and grandma says "no more", your child has three words to learn for one idea. Agree on a few key things:
The words used for common requests and routines, such as "more", "help" and "wait".
How to respond when your child cries for an item: what to wait for before giving it.
What to do during challenging behaviour, so no one accidentally rewards it.
What counts as a reward and when to give it.
Our guide to using positive reinforcement at home without bribing is a helpful starting point to share.
Keep It Simple and Written Down
Long reports are hard to use in the middle of a busy afternoon. Instead, ask your therapist for a short, one-page guide with two or three current goals. Stick it on the fridge. A good guide includes:
The skill being worked on, in plain words.
When to practise it, such as snack time or bath time.
Exactly what to say and do.
What to do if your child does not respond.
Photos or short videos on your phone can help even more.
Respect Their Role and Their Time
Your helper already has a full day of cooking, cleaning and caring. Therapy carry-over works best when it fits into tasks they are already doing, rather than adding a separate "therapy hour". Practising requests at mealtimes or following instructions while tidying up costs very little extra time. Thank them for their efforts and share progress with them. Feeling part of the team makes a real difference to motivation.
Bridging Language Differences
Many helpers speak English as a second or third language, and some may be more comfortable in Bahasa Indonesia, Tagalog, Burmese or Tamil. This is not a barrier to helping your child. Keep instructions short and concrete, use demonstrations rather than explanations, and check understanding by asking them to show you. If your helper naturally speaks to your child in another language, that is usually fine; see does speaking two languages cause speech delay. For specific target words, agree on which language to use.
Grandparents Belong on the Team Too
Grandparents often have strong views and deep love for their grandchildren. They may worry that strategies seem strict or unnecessary. Invite them to observe a session, explain the reasons behind each approach, and focus on what they already do well. When grandparents understand that waiting a few seconds for a word is a kind act, not a harsh one, they often become your strongest allies.
Check In Regularly
Set aside a few minutes each week to ask how things are going. What is working? What feels difficult? Pass this feedback to your therapist so the plan can be adjusted. This ongoing loop is a big part of why parent involvement is critical in behaviour therapy.
At ABA LABS, we work closely with parents, helpers and grandparents during home-based ABA therapy, so the whole household can support your child with confidence. If you would like help getting everyone on the same page, book a consultation.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can my helper do therapy activities with my child?
Yes, and your helper can make a big difference, because they may spend many hours a day with your child at meals, bath time and the playground. Carry-over works best when it fits into tasks they already do, like practising requests at mealtimes, rather than adding a separate therapy hour. Inviting them to watch part of a session helps too.
My helper does not speak much English. Can she still support my child's therapy?
Yes. Language differences are not a barrier to helping your child. Keep instructions short and concrete, use demonstrations rather than explanations, and check understanding by asking your helper to show you. If she naturally speaks to your child in another language, that is usually fine. For specific target words, agree together on which language to use.
How do I get everyone at home to use the same strategies?
Agree on a few key things: the words used for common requests like "more", "help" and "wait", what to wait for before giving an item, what to do during challenging behaviour and what counts as a reward. Ask your therapist for a one-page guide to stick on the fridge, and invite grandparents to observe a session too.
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