Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS When a child does something we want them to stop, our instinct is to say "stop that", and to focus entirely on getting rid of the behaviour. But there's a more effective approach that behaviour specialists rely on: instead of only removing an unwanted behaviour, you replace it with a better one that meets the same need. Understanding this shift can transform how you handle challenging behaviour. Here's the idea, an

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Hitting, biting, kicking, throwing, aggressive behaviour is one of the most distressing and exhausting things a parent can face, and it often comes with a heavy dose of worry and embarrassment. The instinct is to focus on stopping it. But lasting change comes from understanding why it's happening and teaching your child a better way to meet the same need. Here's a calm, effective approach. Aggression Is Communicati

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Some children need things to be just so. The same cup, the same route, the same routine, the same order, and any deviation can trigger real distress. This need for sameness is common in children with developmental differences, and while it's not something to crush, a degree of flexibility is an important skill for coping with a world that constantly changes. This post explains how to build flexibility gently, witho

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Few parenting moments feel harder than a full meltdown in a supermarket, on public transport, or in the middle of a crowded mall, the noise, the stares, the pressure to make it stop now. For parents of children who melt down, public meltdowns carry an extra layer of stress: the judgment of onlookers. This post offers practical strategies for handling them calmly, and for reducing how often they happen. First, Under

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS "I want it NOW." For many children, especially those with developmental differences, waiting is genuinely hard. The gap between wanting something and getting it can trigger frustration, meltdowns, and distress that feels out of proportion to adults. But waiting is a learnable skill, and teaching it well can dramatically reduce daily conflict while building a capacity your child will draw on for life. Here's how. Wh

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS "Isn't that just bribery?" It's one of the most common reactions when parents hear about using rewards to encourage behaviour, and it's a fair question. Positive reinforcement is one of the most effective tools for helping children learn, but done clumsily it can tip into bribery, which teaches the wrong lesson. This post explains the difference and how to use reinforcement well. What Positive Reinforcement Actuall

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Learn why some children find it difficult to follow classroom rules and how parents can support behaviour, attention, and participation in school settings. Why Some Children Struggle With Following Classroom Rules Many parents receive feedback from teachers saying something like: “Your child finds it difficult to follow classroom rules.” This may lead parents to wonder: “Why is my child struggling with classroom r

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS When a child does something puzzling or difficult, screaming, hitting, throwing themselves on the floor, refusing, the instinctive question is "how do I stop this?" But there's a more useful question underneath it: "why is this happening?" Behaviour almost always serves a purpose for the child, even when that purpose isn't obvious. Understanding the why is the key that unlocks everything else. This post introduces

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS One of the most powerful skills you can give a child is the ability to ask for what they want. It sounds simple, but for a child who can't yet request effectively, the inability to communicate a need is a constant source of frustration, and often the root of challenging behaviour. Teaching a child to ask, in whatever form works for them, can transform daily life. Here's how to think about it. Why Requesting Matters

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Screens are a feature of every modern childhood, and for many children with developmental differences they hold a particularly strong pull. The problem isn't usually the screen itself, it's the meltdown when it's time to switch off, the way screens crowd out other activities, and the sense that they've become the only thing that holds your child's attention. This guide offers practical, low-conflict ways to manage

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Some children eat only a handful of foods. Others refuse anything new, gag at certain textures, or turn every meal into a standoff. Extreme picky eating is common in children with autism and developmental differences, and it worries parents deeply, about nutrition, about health, about the daily stress of it. This guide explains why it happens and how a calm, behavioural approach can gently expand what your child ea

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS When challenging behaviour happens, it often feels sudden and overwhelming. Parents may feel caught off guard, wondering what they could have done differently. In reality, many behaviours escalate gradually, with early signs appearing before things become intense. Learning to recognise and respond to these early signs can help prevent situations from escalating into meltdowns or major disruptions. Behaviour Rarely

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS When children experience strong emotions like frustration, disappointment, or anxiety, adults often expect them to “calm down” or “use their words.” But for many children, especially young children, coping skills do not come naturally. They need to be taught, practised, and supported over time. Coping skills are learned behaviours, and learning them is a key part of emotional regulation and development. What Are C

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Meltdowns are one of the most distressing experiences for parents. They can happen suddenly, feel intense, and leave everyone feeling exhausted and unsure of what went wrong. It’s easy to assume a child is being defiant or trying to get their way. In reality, meltdowns are usually a sign of emotional overload, not intentional behaviour. Understanding why meltdowns happen is the first step toward supporting children

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Many parents worry when their child has frequent meltdowns, struggles with transitions, or reacts strongly to small frustrations. It’s easy to assume that a child is being “difficult” or overly sensitive. In reality, emotional regulation is a skill: and like all skills, some children need more support and practice to develop it. Understanding emotional regulation as a learnable skill helps parents respond with clar

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Why Some Children Have Difficulty With Transitions Many parents notice that their child becomes upset when it is time to move from one activity to another. For example, a child may become distressed when it is time to stop playing and get ready for dinner, leave the playground, or prepare for bedtime. This often leads parents to ask: “Why does my child struggle with transitions?” Transitions can be challenging for

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Many parents notice that challenging behaviour often appears during moments of frustration, when a child wants something, needs help, or feels overwhelmed but cannot express it clearly. In many cases, these behaviours are not the main issue. The real challenge is communication breakdown. When children are supported in communicating more effectively, frustration often decreases naturally. Why Frustration Is Common

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Learn why some children have difficulty following instructions and how parents can support listening, attention, and understanding in everyday situations. Why Some Children Struggle to Follow Instructions Many parents notice moments when their child does not seem to follow instructions, even when the request appears simple. A parent might say something like, “Please put your toys away,” yet the child continues pla

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Learn the difference between tantrums and meltdowns in young children, why they occur, and how parents can support children during emotional outbursts. Tantrums vs Meltdowns: Understanding the Difference When a young child suddenly begins crying, screaming, or becoming overwhelmed, it can be difficult for parents to understand what is happening. A common question many parents ask is: “Is my child having a tantrum

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS Learn why toddlers may have frequent tantrums, what causes emotional outbursts in young children, and how parents can support emotional development. Why Some Toddlers Have Frequent Tantrums Many parents experience moments when their child suddenly cries, screams, or becomes upset over what seems like a small situation. A common question parents often ask is: “Why does my toddler have so many tantrums?” Tantrums ar