My Toddler Doesn't Point: Why Pointing Matters and How to Encourage It

Written by Eugene Tng, QASP-S, Programme Director at ABA LABS

Your toddler can climb the sofa, open the snack drawer and lead you by the hand to the door, but they never seem to point. Maybe a relative has asked about it, or you noticed other children at the playground pointing at birds and buses. It is a small gesture, so it can feel strange to worry about it. Yet pointing is one of the clearest early signs of how a child is learning to communicate, and it is worth understanding.

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Why Pointing Is a Big Deal

Pointing is one of the first ways a child tells you something without words. It shows that they understand you can see what they see, and that they can direct your attention on purpose. That understanding sits underneath language, play and social connection. It is also why pointing is often discussed alongside speech development in toddlers: children who point are building the foundations that words later sit on.

Pointing to Request vs Pointing to Share

Not all pointing is the same. There are two main types, and the difference matters:

• Pointing to request: your child points at the biscuit on the shelf because they want it. The point gets them something.

• Pointing to share or show: your child points at an aeroplane, then looks at you to check you have seen it too. Nothing is gained except the shared moment.

Many children start pointing to request first. Pointing to share tends to follow, and it is the one professionals pay closest attention to, because it reflects a child's interest in connecting with you.

Joint Attention: The Skill Behind the Point

Pointing to share is part of a wider skill called joint attention. This is when you and your child focus on the same thing together and both know it. You will see it when your child looks at a toy, looks back at your face, then back at the toy. Joint attention helps children learn words, because they connect what you are saying with what you are both looking at. It is also an important part of how children communicate beyond speech.

When Do Children Usually Start Pointing?

Every child develops at their own pace, but as a general guide:

• Many babies begin reaching and pointing to request between about 9 and 12 months.

• By 15 months, most toddlers point to ask for something or to get help.

• By 18 months, most toddlers point to show you something interesting, and look back at you to share it.

If you would like a fuller picture, our guide to developmental milestones by age covers the wider range of skills to look out for.

What It Might Mean if Your Child Isn't Pointing

A child who is not pointing yet is not automatically a child with a developmental condition. Some children are simply a little later, and some use other ways to show you things, such as bringing objects to you or using your hand. Still, limited pointing, especially pointing to share, is one of the early signs parents often miss, particularly when it appears alongside fewer words, limited eye contact or not responding to their name.

How to Encourage Pointing at Home

You can build pointing into everyday moments without turning it into a drill:

• Point often yourself. Name what you see: "Look, a cat!" Point clearly and pause.

• Hold items slightly out of reach. Offer two snacks and wait a moment so your child has a reason to reach or point.

• Shape a reach into a point. If your child reaches with an open hand, gently model a pointing finger and then give the item straight away.

• Make it fun to share. Windows, picture books and bubbles are great for pointing games.

• Celebrate the look back. When your child looks at you after pointing, respond warmly. That connection is the goal.

Keep it light and playful. Pressure tends to reduce interaction, while enjoyment builds it.

When to Seek an Assessment

Consider speaking to a professional if:

• Your child is not pointing at all by around 18 months.

• They point to request but rarely or never point to share.

• They do not follow your point to look at something.

• Pointing appears alongside other concerns such as limited words or eye contact.

• Your child loses skills they previously had.

You can raise this at your child's polyclinic developmental check or with your paediatrician, who may refer you to the KKH or NUH Child Development Unit. A developmental assessment can also help clarify where your child is and what support would help most. Acting early is never wasted.

At ABA LABS, we help toddlers build early communication skills such as pointing, joint attention and requesting through individualised, play-based early intervention in your own home. If you are unsure whether your child's pointing is on track, book a consultation.

Frequently Asked Questions

When should a toddler start pointing?

As a general guide, many babies begin reaching and pointing to request between about 9 and 12 months. By 15 months, most toddlers point to ask for something or get help, and by 18 months most point to show you something interesting and look back at you to share it. Every child develops at their own pace.

Is not pointing a sign of autism?

Not on its own. Some children are simply a little later, and some show you things in other ways, such as bringing objects to you or using your hand. Limited pointing, especially pointing to share, is worth noticing when it appears alongside fewer words, limited eye contact or not responding to their name. Then an assessment is worth considering.

How can I teach my toddler to point?

Point often yourself and name what you see, then pause. Hold items slightly out of reach or offer two snacks so your child has a reason to point. If they reach with an open hand, gently model a pointing finger and give the item straight away. Celebrate the look back, and keep it playful rather than a drill.

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Sources

• CDC. Learn the Signs. Act Early. Developmental milestones, 15 and 18 months (2022).

• Colonnesi, C., et al. (2010). The relation between pointing and language development: a meta-analysis. Developmental Review, 30(4), 352-366.

• Robins, D. L., et al. (2014). Validation of the Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers, Revised with Follow-up (M-CHAT-R/F). Pediatrics, 133(1), 37-45.

• Schreibman, L., et al. (2015). Naturalistic developmental behavioral interventions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 45(8), 2411-2428.